i) Close your eyes, relax, and recall an incident when you felt like a champion (e.g. getting promoted, winning an award). However, what the book expounds is merely that which, in a previous era, would have been called, “deportment.” Good deportment may be a necessary condition for charisma, but it is far from sufficient. Don't try to impress people. Let them impress you and they will love you for it. Believe it or not, you don't need to sound smart. You just need to make them feel smart.

Right Mental State + Forgive Yourself ==> Avoid being defensive, overly apologetic, subservient, or insecure When the verbal and nonverbal are congruent, the nonverbal amplifies the verbal ==> When they are not congruent, the nonverbal is trusted over the verbal You could follow all the lessons in this book and you still wouldn’t have “charisma,” because it attaches to a person who — in addition to good deportment — has already achieved some measure of fame or infamy, celebrity or notoriety, among the persons she (or he) meets.b) visionary charisma - the capability to describe a grand vision for the future and galvanize people to work toward the fruition of that vision When to Use it: Almost all business situations; When you need people to open up and share info; Difficult situations (negotiations, defusing hostile interactions) In The Charisma Myth, Olivia Fox Cabane makes a compelling argument that charisma is the product of a certain mindset and behaviors which are both attainable and trainable. The book proves effective with its list of quotes, anecdotes, thought-provoking theories and logical explanations. The biggest charisma destroyers arise in your mind. They include self-doubt, impatience, annoyance, irritation, and so on. Your internal mental states influence your body language and words, which can make or break your charisma because they define how present, powerful and warm you’ll be in a situation . The author suggests some powerful tools to combat such internal obstacles.

One of the main reasons we’re so affected by our negative thoughts is that we think our mind has an accurate grasp on reality, and that its conclusions are generally valid. This, however, is a fallacy. Our mind’s view of reality can be, and often is, completely distorted.” Warmth – Goodwill toward others ==>Almost entirely seen through body language and behavior ==> Evaluated more directly than power This book was a great accompaniment to my commute. I listened to it daily and treated it like a great daily vitamin. It gave me valuable input to think about my own behavior. As the author defines the term, charisma is an acquired set of behavior, verbal and non-verbal, that display confidence and power. In our complete summary bundle, we zoom into various areas and specific tips for applying charisma:

Makes others feel inspired; makes them “believe”. Can be effective even when disliked. Why? People are uncomfortable with uncertainty. You are selling people on your vision more than yourself ii) Experience that moment fully, using all your senses to see, hear and feel your success and confidence.

Charismatic people have a natural magnetism that draws people to them. Charisma isn’t an inborn talent, but a set of skills and behaviors that can be learned with the right tools and practice. In this book, Olivia Fox Cabane presents strategies, exercises and tips to help you develop your personal charisma and magnetism. In The Charisma Myth summary, you’ll find the answers to questions like: What’s charisma? How to be charismatic? Is there an ideal charismatic style for me?So what is charisma? According to Cabane, it is the trifecta of power, presence, and warmth. All three can be cultivated, promoted, and used in both serene and stressful situations.

After five minutes, change positions so that you’re sitting across from each other. You’ll likely feel a clear difference in comfort level. If any negative thoughts are present, remember that they’re just thoughts, and not necessarily valid. Goodwill means that you wish someone well without necessarily knowing how they’re feeling. Empathy means that you understand what they feel; perhaps you’ve had a similar experience in the past. Compassion is empathy plus goodwill: you understand how they feel, and you wish them well.” For those who you want to project confidence, be poised, contained, limit reassurance + Keep own rhythms rather than mirroring The Charismatic Person Attracts Praise and Envy Like a Magnet ==>Resentment and envy for the praise will arise ==> Must compensate to limit these negative emotionsYou become charismatic by giving 100% focus to another person. No fidgeting with hands. No cell phone. No looking around. 100% focus on them.